Hold on to these moments.
tales| protagonist| intermission
And may you have a good day too, sire.
Like the way you work it
Tuesday, May 13, 2014 @ 11:31 PM
Was checking out some recommendations by a friend and I found this, and honestly this was.... listen to it for yourself.
Amazing.
I've been into more of these kinds of songs, something chill, and breezy. Something that makes me relaxed and lets me take a breather. None of those upbeat music for me for now, (ok maybe with an exception to Chisa Bounce, I can play that in loop non-stop because it is just that catchy)
-
And so if anyone has been wondering about me, (if anyone even reads this blog tbh), or about I've been up to, well I've been working.
After my stint at a student care at internship, I realised maybe my calling is to work with children. Even though, back when slightly younger and naive, I vehemently objected to any mentions or interactions with this babbling tiny creatures, but hey actually, they're not so bad after all. Consequently, it turns out that I was able to handle children better than I expected to. I've gotta thank my internship supervisor for being the wonderful guide she had been to me, for letting us learn the ropes of managing children through her teaching methods as well as giving us the right amount of freedom to exercise our skills with the children. Maybe because of her I learnt how to enjoy working with children, and would love to pursue this interest. So thank you, once again.
Anyway, I've been thinking that I should pursue a degree related to children - child psychology, early childhood education. But the problem is, I can't find a degree that would allow me to take credits off with the diploma I just graduated from, and my GPA is not that fabulous to get into a direct psychology degree in Singapore (see aki, this is why you should have studied better but no use preaching now right). My boss has offered to sponsor me a diploma in early childhood but I don't see a point because I already do have a diploma that somewhat correlates to childhood education. I mean I did cover lifespan psychology and story drama and both made me have to work with children.
Though sponsorship or not, I will still take a gap year, to fully indulge my wanderlust (tumblr word yes i know don't judge) and prepare myself for the adulthood that will pounce on me once I start university.
And I used to think "wow I can't wait to get older" why
-
And so if anyone has been wondering about me, (if anyone even reads this blog tbh), or about I've been up to, well I've been working.
After my stint at a student care at internship, I realised maybe my calling is to work with children. Even though, back when slightly younger and naive, I vehemently objected to any mentions or interactions with this babbling tiny creatures, but hey actually, they're not so bad after all. Consequently, it turns out that I was able to handle children better than I expected to. I've gotta thank my internship supervisor for being the wonderful guide she had been to me, for letting us learn the ropes of managing children through her teaching methods as well as giving us the right amount of freedom to exercise our skills with the children. Maybe because of her I learnt how to enjoy working with children, and would love to pursue this interest. So thank you, once again.
Anyway, I've been thinking that I should pursue a degree related to children - child psychology, early childhood education. But the problem is, I can't find a degree that would allow me to take credits off with the diploma I just graduated from, and my GPA is not that fabulous to get into a direct psychology degree in Singapore (see aki, this is why you should have studied better but no use preaching now right). My boss has offered to sponsor me a diploma in early childhood but I don't see a point because I already do have a diploma that somewhat correlates to childhood education. I mean I did cover lifespan psychology and story drama and both made me have to work with children.
Though sponsorship or not, I will still take a gap year, to fully indulge my wanderlust (tumblr word yes i know don't judge) and prepare myself for the adulthood that will pounce on me once I start university.
And I used to think "wow I can't wait to get older" why
mental repetitions (plus some unintentional sadness)
Thursday, January 9, 2014 @ 12:52 AM
"I remember when
you came with me that night
you said forever
that you would never
let
me
go
but here I am again
with n o t h i n g left inside
No, I don't want to....
But I've got to...
let. you. go."
- Ashley Parker Angel, Let U Go
//
Today, I accidentally made a kid cry....... and that broke my heart, I felt utter remorse for being so harsh to him ):
Alright, so basically, everyday during lunchtime, I assist the food auntie to give out the lunches to the kids. Today, after giving out to every P1, I started serving the other levels when this P1 kid came back (or so I thought he did). I asked him what he wanted and he said "Uhm, I don't want the egg and the cucumber." I was slightly surprised because he was supposed to ask that before he took his plate (OKAY MY FAULT HERE IS THAT I ASSUMED THAT HE HAD TAKEN HIS LUNCH OK I AM SO INCREDIBLY SORRY)
So I told him "_______, you should have told me before you take your plate. Where's your plate now?" And he didn't reply me, so I thought he just wanted a new plate without the cucumber. He didn't reply me but he said "I really don't want the cucumber." Obviously, I can't take out the cucumber cause all the other kids will complain and say it is unfair and unjust and bla bla bla.... yget what I mean. And he gave me all sorts of nonsense excuses. "I cannot eat vegetables." "it is too sour" "it doesn't taste nice" And by that time, I got slightly agitated?!?!? .... And so.... i scolded him.... "______, stop giving me excuses! You better go back and eat or I would tell Auntie ______ (our head disciplinarian)" And I absolutely ignored him (OH MY GOD. WRITING THIS, I WANT TO KILL MYSELF NOW. WAS I FOR REAL)
When he noticed I was not answering him, e went to queue up at the P2 line and a colleague of mine was shocked "eh, why are you here!" and I told her to ignore him because he just didn't want to eat the cucumbers (WTF OMG WTF SELF WTF) and then I told myself ok, he seems to not be getting it, i will sit beside him and make him eat his cucumbers. So I asked him "ok, come I sit beside you and help you eat ok?" and so I took his hand and brought him back to the tables where the kids are and..... I REALISED HE REALLY HASN'T GOTTEN HIS FOOD. By that time he was already tearing up and sobbing and i felt f- guilty ok. And this kid is a genuinely good kid and he is gonna hate me for life for doing that.
Brought him back to the stall to get his food and he was furiously wiping off his tears and all I could say was 'oh, don't cry, it's alright, your food is here, I teach you how to eat the cucumber ok?' and I didn't even apologize, I am so disappointed in myself. And then while eating, he actually made the effort to eat his cucumbers even though he doesn't like it! /cries freaking buckets of tears istg/
ok basically I felt very very very bad for what I said/did towards this kid without realising the enormous amounts of stress I was imposing on him. I should really kick myself hard in the head omg i think i've been pretty strong on the kids recently.... i should tone down bc they are k i d s.
sigh........... s i g h............. S I G H.................................
I will try better from now onwards.
And it's a wrap!
Sunday, December 22, 2013 @ 11:57 PM
Nerve wrecking, there was a gush of so many emotions at one go - fear, excitement, believe - amongst others
Who knew that I would feel what felt?
Who had suspected that I was capable of feeling extreme relief and pride to the point my heart wavered?
Who ever would have thought that I actually could tear up out of utter happiness?
No one did, not even myself. But I did.
In 5 days,
I wrote a script
Did several voice workouts
Had a script read
Assigned the roles
Did script reading with specific actors
Improved the scenes gradually
Had them begin acting
Reassigned the roles
And
Had the play carried out
All of that in 5 days and with 16 children, most of them who could hardly sit still.
Yes, it is something I am very proud of, because this is a milestone. Through all the stress and the relentless need for the children to pay attention to me (which only works when I threaten to take out their roles), I actually did it. With the help of one of my colleagues regarding the initial concept of the script, and another one who assisted in maintaining order in the class, I actually did it. It is an accomplishment, so frightening and thrilling, that at the end if it all, I trembled out of sheer joy.
Okay maybe I am exaggerating what I felt to some extent, but that feeling was extremely new and raw to me that I felt a need to put it into flamboyant words so that I can remember what it felt like.
I want to feel that again. The achievement of accomplishing something so great, to the point you keep thinking 'wow I can't believe this is what it really looks like'
Through all the stumbles and fumbles, it still looked perfect to me. Thank you life, for giving me this chance to know that I am capable in doing even greater things.
And thank you kids, for doing an amazing job, I am so proud of you all :')