(actually, to be honest, I am just keeping this blog so that when I go overseas, I can post all my posts here, but I don't want it to be dead yknow. Like I want some consistency.... ?... consistent posts every month so it doesn't look bare and all, and I don't really care if anyone reads my blog (okay maybe i do but no one will cause honestly it's not even remotely interesting even i get bored with my posts) but it's just for me for when I grow up and I laugh at myself at how stupid I was or how stupid I'll ever be but hey in all good fun, at least I am gonna mature... i think. Or even I'm not, my friends and family will tell me. YOU WILL WONT YOU. and omg look a bracket in a bracket!!! In case you don't understand this is supposed to be a whisper kind of post to fathom my incoherence /hints to previous post/ but this post itself is starting to become kind of redundant to the incoherence I've been trying to avoid)

WHY DO I TYPE SO FAST WHEN I BLOG AND TYPE SO SLOW WHEN I DO MY ESSAYS

Labels: I don't understand either

I've been feeling like a cat lately. And by that, I mean I've been pretty much rotting my life away every weekend by sleeping in the morning, sleeping through the noon and then back again to sleep at night. If that doesn't indicate that I am becoming an extreme couch potato, then obviously, I am behaving like a cat (they sleep up to 16hours daily, mind you, sometimes even longer)

And then some people may ask, why don't you just go out?

Well basically, because going out, usually means I'd spend about 20 odd dollars, maybe even more. And the last thing I should do right now is spend on things I don't really have to spend on the first place. Like that macchiato from Starbucks.

That's just some people that may I ask, if it's safe for me to assume. Otherwise, I'd like to jump onboard the ship that assumes people don't really care anyway cause they have ceased to remember my existence... sounds pretty depressing. But hey, I probably don't remember you are there either, so the feelings are on borderline mutual. Anyway, there isn't a need to worry because I just have this extreme innate need to be remembered and I just get into fits and tears and all melodramatic over being forgotten (which happens pretty often) so if any of you are panicking, calm down. IF ANY that is.

This has once again been a mindless post just to satisfy my mind that behaves like an opposite blackhole, churning out words non-stop, at freaking 1am. Yay.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I can't sleep, I've slept the whole day away..... Meow.

Labels: i don't even know why I wrote this post

I am the kind of person who says "Whatever floats your boat" or "just let things fall into place" excessively. I can be pretty accommodating most of the times, on most aspects of my life, but I've also been known to have restrictions and boundaries and standards on certain things... like my ideal guy.

I didn't wanna make this list, nor do I wanna post it up here... initially. But, well, you know I was watching Lee Jonghyun and Juniel's Love Falls performance and then one criteria popped up:
and then I started thinking of the others and thought "I can't possibly keep all these thoughts to myself!!!" so here is the list (in no particular order of importance):

1. Has to play either the guitar or the piano
2. And then play songs I would like to sing to (no matter what songs)
3. won't ask me to shut up when I sing cause I will sing whenever and wherever I want to
4. Be able to have a substantial amount of conversations with me on these topics:
   - Religion
   - Kpop (HEY HEY HEY KEEP YOUR JUDGEMENT AWAY I LIKE KOREAN STUFF)
   - Science of the Universe
   - CATS
   - Johnny Depp
   - Arashi
   - ok i think that's all for now
5. Pig out with me
6. Get fat with me (I'm alr halfway there so uh yeah, join me 8))
7. Be a photographer who is good at taking random shots
8. Dress decently hor
9. CAN SING I WANT SOMEONE WHO CAN SING LIKE LEE JONGHYUN K THANKS (then you can sing me to sleep ^^)
10. puts up with my periodical whiny tantrums (pun intended) (who doesn't want someone who can tahan them)
11. Lets me win

Labels: i don't even know why I wrote this post, love affairs

Today, I accidentally made a kid cry....... and that broke my heart, I felt utter remorse for being so harsh to him ):

Alright, so basically, everyday during lunchtime, I assist the food auntie to give out the lunches to the kids. Today, after giving out to every P1, I started serving the other levels when this P1 kid came back (or so I thought he did). I asked him what he wanted and he said "Uhm, I don't want the egg and the cucumber." I was slightly surprised because he was supposed to ask that before he took his plate (OKAY MY FAULT HERE IS THAT I ASSUMED THAT HE HAD TAKEN HIS LUNCH OK I AM SO INCREDIBLY SORRY)

So I told him "_______, you should have told me before you take your plate. Where's your plate now?" And he didn't reply me, so I thought he just wanted a new plate without the cucumber. He didn't reply me but he said "I really don't want the cucumber." Obviously, I can't take out the cucumber cause all the other kids will complain and say it is unfair and unjust and bla bla bla.... yget what I mean. And he gave me all sorts of nonsense excuses. "I cannot eat vegetables." "it is too sour" "it doesn't taste nice" And by that time, I got slightly agitated?!?!? .... And so.... i scolded him.... "______, stop giving me excuses! You better go back and eat or I would tell Auntie ______ (our head disciplinarian)" And I absolutely ignored him (OH MY GOD. WRITING THIS, I WANT TO KILL MYSELF NOW. WAS I FOR REAL)

When he noticed I was not answering him, e went to queue up at the P2 line and a colleague of mine was shocked "eh, why are you here!" and I told her to ignore him because he just didn't want to eat the cucumbers (WTF OMG WTF SELF WTF) and then I told myself ok, he seems to not be getting it, i will sit beside him and make him eat his cucumbers. So I asked him "ok, come I sit beside you and help you eat ok?" and so I took his hand and brought him back to the tables where the kids are and..... I REALISED HE REALLY HASN'T GOTTEN HIS FOOD. By that time he was already tearing up and sobbing and i felt f- guilty ok. And this kid is a genuinely good kid and he is gonna hate me for life for doing that.

Brought him back to the stall to get his food and he was furiously wiping off his tears and all I could say was 'oh, don't cry, it's alright, your food is here, I teach you how to eat the cucumber ok?' and I didn't even apologize, I am so disappointed in myself. And then while eating, he actually made the effort to eat his cucumbers even though he doesn't like it! /cries freaking buckets of tears istg/

ok basically I felt very very very bad for what I said/did towards this kid without realising the enormous amounts of stress I was imposing on him. I should really kick myself hard in the head omg i think i've been pretty strong on the kids recently.... i should tone down bc they are k i d s.

sigh........... s i g h............. S I G H.................................

I will try better from now onwards.

Labels: children, dailies

Whims and worries

Labels: poem, so this is the new year

(actually, to be honest, I am just keeping this blog so that when I go overseas, I can post all my posts here, but I don't want it to be dead yknow. Like I want some consistency.... ?... consistent posts every month so it doesn't look bare and all, and I don't really care if anyone reads my blog (okay maybe i do but no one will cause honestly it's not even remotely interesting even i get bored with my posts) but it's just for me for when I grow up and I laugh at myself at how stupid I was or how stupid I'll ever be but hey in all good fun, at least I am gonna mature... i think. Or even I'm not, my friends and family will tell me. YOU WILL WONT YOU. and omg look a bracket in a bracket!!! In case you don't understand this is supposed to be a whisper kind of post to fathom my incoherence /hints to previous post/ but this post itself is starting to become kind of redundant to the incoherence I've been trying to avoid)

WHY DO I TYPE SO FAST WHEN I BLOG AND TYPE SO SLOW WHEN I DO MY ESSAYS

Labels: I don't understand either

I've been feeling like a cat lately. And by that, I mean I've been pretty much rotting my life away every weekend by sleeping in the morning, sleeping through the noon and then back again to sleep at night. If that doesn't indicate that I am becoming an extreme couch potato, then obviously, I am behaving like a cat (they sleep up to 16hours daily, mind you, sometimes even longer)

And then some people may ask, why don't you just go out?

Well basically, because going out, usually means I'd spend about 20 odd dollars, maybe even more. And the last thing I should do right now is spend on things I don't really have to spend on the first place. Like that macchiato from Starbucks.

That's just some people that may I ask, if it's safe for me to assume. Otherwise, I'd like to jump onboard the ship that assumes people don't really care anyway cause they have ceased to remember my existence... sounds pretty depressing. But hey, I probably don't remember you are there either, so the feelings are on borderline mutual. Anyway, there isn't a need to worry because I just have this extreme innate need to be remembered and I just get into fits and tears and all melodramatic over being forgotten (which happens pretty often) so if any of you are panicking, calm down. IF ANY that is.

This has once again been a mindless post just to satisfy my mind that behaves like an opposite blackhole, churning out words non-stop, at freaking 1am. Yay.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I can't sleep, I've slept the whole day away..... Meow.

Labels: i don't even know why I wrote this post

I am the kind of person who says "Whatever floats your boat" or "just let things fall into place" excessively. I can be pretty accommodating most of the times, on most aspects of my life, but I've also been known to have restrictions and boundaries and standards on certain things... like my ideal guy.

I didn't wanna make this list, nor do I wanna post it up here... initially. But, well, you know I was watching Lee Jonghyun and Juniel's Love Falls performance and then one criteria popped up:
and then I started thinking of the others and thought "I can't possibly keep all these thoughts to myself!!!" so here is the list (in no particular order of importance):

1. Has to play either the guitar or the piano
2. And then play songs I would like to sing to (no matter what songs)
3. won't ask me to shut up when I sing cause I will sing whenever and wherever I want to
4. Be able to have a substantial amount of conversations with me on these topics:
   - Religion
   - Kpop (HEY HEY HEY KEEP YOUR JUDGEMENT AWAY I LIKE KOREAN STUFF)
   - Science of the Universe
   - CATS
   - Johnny Depp
   - Arashi
   - ok i think that's all for now
5. Pig out with me
6. Get fat with me (I'm alr halfway there so uh yeah, join me 8))
7. Be a photographer who is good at taking random shots
8. Dress decently hor
9. CAN SING I WANT SOMEONE WHO CAN SING LIKE LEE JONGHYUN K THANKS (then you can sing me to sleep ^^)
10. puts up with my periodical whiny tantrums (pun intended) (who doesn't want someone who can tahan them)
11. Lets me win

Labels: i don't even know why I wrote this post, love affairs

Today, I accidentally made a kid cry....... and that broke my heart, I felt utter remorse for being so harsh to him ):

Alright, so basically, everyday during lunchtime, I assist the food auntie to give out the lunches to the kids. Today, after giving out to every P1, I started serving the other levels when this P1 kid came back (or so I thought he did). I asked him what he wanted and he said "Uhm, I don't want the egg and the cucumber." I was slightly surprised because he was supposed to ask that before he took his plate (OKAY MY FAULT HERE IS THAT I ASSUMED THAT HE HAD TAKEN HIS LUNCH OK I AM SO INCREDIBLY SORRY)

So I told him "_______, you should have told me before you take your plate. Where's your plate now?" And he didn't reply me, so I thought he just wanted a new plate without the cucumber. He didn't reply me but he said "I really don't want the cucumber." Obviously, I can't take out the cucumber cause all the other kids will complain and say it is unfair and unjust and bla bla bla.... yget what I mean. And he gave me all sorts of nonsense excuses. "I cannot eat vegetables." "it is too sour" "it doesn't taste nice" And by that time, I got slightly agitated?!?!? .... And so.... i scolded him.... "______, stop giving me excuses! You better go back and eat or I would tell Auntie ______ (our head disciplinarian)" And I absolutely ignored him (OH MY GOD. WRITING THIS, I WANT TO KILL MYSELF NOW. WAS I FOR REAL)

When he noticed I was not answering him, e went to queue up at the P2 line and a colleague of mine was shocked "eh, why are you here!" and I told her to ignore him because he just didn't want to eat the cucumbers (WTF OMG WTF SELF WTF) and then I told myself ok, he seems to not be getting it, i will sit beside him and make him eat his cucumbers. So I asked him "ok, come I sit beside you and help you eat ok?" and so I took his hand and brought him back to the tables where the kids are and..... I REALISED HE REALLY HASN'T GOTTEN HIS FOOD. By that time he was already tearing up and sobbing and i felt f- guilty ok. And this kid is a genuinely good kid and he is gonna hate me for life for doing that.

Brought him back to the stall to get his food and he was furiously wiping off his tears and all I could say was 'oh, don't cry, it's alright, your food is here, I teach you how to eat the cucumber ok?' and I didn't even apologize, I am so disappointed in myself. And then while eating, he actually made the effort to eat his cucumbers even though he doesn't like it! /cries freaking buckets of tears istg/

ok basically I felt very very very bad for what I said/did towards this kid without realising the enormous amounts of stress I was imposing on him. I should really kick myself hard in the head omg i think i've been pretty strong on the kids recently.... i should tone down bc they are k i d s.

sigh........... s i g h............. S I G H.................................

I will try better from now onwards.

Labels: children, dailies

Whims and worries

Labels: poem, so this is the new year