A while ago, on a night out, I realised that what had happened in the past, every single life changing incident, doesn't necessarily have to affect the thoughts and choices I make today, and I think that's a really positive change in my mindset for my current and future selves.
-
D-6 to Korea, and it is surreallllll to think that this time next week, I would be back in the hostel from strolling down Haeundae beach with two wonderful people, with cozy jackets on and our feet digging into the sand. The thought of it gives me such joy and thrill.

Close my eyes, open them
I've just done graduation
Close my eyes and open them again
I'm on vacation
Thrice, closed and open
I'm back under pressure

Life's such. Especially life here. But yknow, let's live in thr moment, shall we?
-
I'll be updating more often with my trip coming up!!! Here's to less empty blogs and more interesting stories /clink

Labels: dailies, poem

Heart drums
Melancholic sounds
The heart hums
The faces frown

Daily routines
Takes its toll
Lost my footing
Nothing to hold

"Endless possibilities,"
is what they exclaimed
But stuck in here
I can't be saved

One step, two
It's not working
Right or left, choose
Will this be worth it?

//

I've not been feeling entirely well just quite recently. Everything seems disoriented and unsettling. I've been trying to hold it in and calm myself down, it's working but I am reaching my limit. I can actually feel it. I can't ignore these situations anymore, but I know I have no strength to deal with them either.

Everything I've worked for, will cease to exist. Sooner or later, and the reality of that is hard to grasp. I'm grappling, trying to stay onto what seems to be a decent, non-chaotic life, a simple one but no, it just won't work out that way.

I will pull through again, right?

Yup, I'll just delude myself into thinking I am going to survive another bout of drama while a small part of me just rots away with the mild catastrophe of these events.

Labels: pitfall, poem

Whims and worries

Labels: poem, so this is the new year

I remembered the way your hair flopped
and the way you pushed it back
how I giggled because
damn you look good with that hair

Your eyelashes were thick
they lined the curves of your eyes
accentuated the shape of your eyes
that I adored looking into

That one day
we were going up the escalator
and it was sunset

The sun shone right against your back
while you were facing me
And then the thought struck me
'wow you're so handsome'
because even by your silhouette
I could see your eyes sparkle

Labels: love affairs, poem

What if the walls could speak?

They'd tell us stories of sorrow.
Of people who lived, and people who died.
Into the late night, of those who cried.
Cried till their tears ran dry.
Cried till there were no more questions why.

What if the walls could speak?

They'd tell us stories of guilt.
Of how burdens of one person, felt like the world.
And how moments of a tragedy began to unfurl.
Unfurled into bitterness of regrets.
Unfurled and then surrendered to fate.

But then again, what if the walls could speak?

They'd tell us stories of peace.
Of the silence that soothes us once in a while
A moment or two that lets us rest for a while
Rest and take a deep breather
Rest, as light as a feather

And also, what if the walls could speak?

They'd tell us stories of hope.
Of the tears, angst, fear that turned into determination
That would people want to be more than just an inspiration
The want, so deep and fierce
The want, that would always pierce

So, what if the walls could speak?

It'd be interesting and I'd be damned
But I'd also freak out
Cause all I want to do is go to sleep...
Not talk to my walls.

-
(I'm sorry hahaha I couldn't end this solemnly I had to!!!)

Got the idea for this earlier on when I got home, was in my room doing my face stuff and then I was wondering what kind of stories the walls held, of the people who lived there before me, of the events that happened before I existed into its stories. What did it witness? Probably a million and one stories apart from the ones I could think of.

Hope you like it :)

(No tagboard uh so tweet me if you liked it or sth idk or don't do anything IDK)

Labels: poem

And it's not the kind of scared where you know it's something that someone cannot help you with.

It's the kind where you know you are so afraid, so, so afraid to let anyone know what you're scared of, just in case they'll scare you on purpose.

It's the kind of fear which makes you drift away from everyone you know, everyone you had loved, everyone you love, or anyone you possibly might love because you are just that fearful.

It's the kind of impending doom that sets you apart from anyone you know, defining your infinite inability to be able to confront these dark feelings that gradually manifests your soul over time.

It's the kind where you're at a dead end, the tunnel is blocked, there's no light, and you have wasted all your energy clearing out the mud from the wrong side.

It's the kind where you're so scared, you don't dare to do anything to save yourself, lest you hurt yourself even more.

But it's lonely here.

I wish someone could see this and save me from this irrational fear, and not leave me feeling worse than before.

Labels: pitfall, poem

Song: Femme Fatale - Emilie Simon
Mood: Nonchalant

Shifting places,
need something new.
Familiar faces,
none of which are true. 

Classroom daze.
Murmurs all around.
Brain's a haze,
can't find your ground.

- written today, in commemoration of the first day of school. As you can probably tell, negativity is overpowering and overwhelming.

Insane, unfathomable rant coming up.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Some feelings in my life, even though they seem real at that moment it happened, those feelings feel like a dream afterwards. I've learned to push those feelings deep into the corners of my otherwise dusty mind just because I know it will might never happen again, those feelings will never resurface again because those moments happen only ONCE in my entire lifetime.

I push everything away, I don't know if it's because I don't want to disappoint myself when my expectations aren't met, or it's because it's just better this way. The past should stay where it belongs, the past. No spilling over the pages of today and tomorrow... I don't know. I really don't.

I think you're part of my past now. Thank you for having been part of my life for that point in time. But I guess some people can't see the fact I've slipped away from what used to be and I'm not exactly interested to go through what I felt the last few hours of that point in my life. If you get my drift. Rage, envy and utter disappointment. But who would know right?

Who would.

Labels: dailies, poem

Song: Anything But Ordinary - Avril Lavigne
Mood: HIGHLY THRILLED FOR SCHOOL





I've got a new meaning to this word, other than the usual 12-hour shifts on my com + week + sleep in till late kind of holidays. yes imma pig sue me.

Sincerely speaking, the past 3 4 5 6 weeks have been one hell of a roller-coaster ride that I really enjoyed. Even the dips, the thrilling dips, that just brings the ride back up to the highest point again. I mean, the highest points won't be high without the lowest points right? (:

I did crazy things I would never have had done last holidays (ok I don't know if it's because I turned legal or because I needed to shake things off) but I did and damn, hahah it was fun. The nights out, the new experiences, all those feelings and thoughts that felt so alive. So alive to the point I can still hardly believe that it is so different compared to the me during school (but hey everyone's like that in school too)

The break, it was definitely NOT a well-deserved break for me. It was more of I needed it. I needed to get away from people, I needed to get away from everything school related and even when the results came in, I was like 'LOL ENLIGHTEN ME HUMANS OF EARTH WHAT IS THIS STRANGE SCHOOL THINGY YOU ALL SPEAK OF' And maybe that's why I went mad.

And can I just say, the madness was absolutely worth it. No regrets. I have a ~feel good~ tingling gut feeling about this new semester. I actually can't wait for school!!!

OMG YES I CAN'T WAIT FOR SCHOOL

Happy first day of school!
-

Labels: dailies, poem

A poem I created a while back:

Wandering eyes, stay calm.
Wandering eyes, stay near.
Wandering eyes, stay closed,
Or you'll see something you fear.

[/edit] Did I say a while? I just checked my phone and it was written on 20th July hahahahahaha

Labels: poem

A while ago, on a night out, I realised that what had happened in the past, every single life changing incident, doesn't necessarily have to affect the thoughts and choices I make today, and I think that's a really positive change in my mindset for my current and future selves.
-
D-6 to Korea, and it is surreallllll to think that this time next week, I would be back in the hostel from strolling down Haeundae beach with two wonderful people, with cozy jackets on and our feet digging into the sand. The thought of it gives me such joy and thrill.

Close my eyes, open them
I've just done graduation
Close my eyes and open them again
I'm on vacation
Thrice, closed and open
I'm back under pressure

Life's such. Especially life here. But yknow, let's live in thr moment, shall we?
-
I'll be updating more often with my trip coming up!!! Here's to less empty blogs and more interesting stories /clink

Labels: dailies, poem

Heart drums
Melancholic sounds
The heart hums
The faces frown

Daily routines
Takes its toll
Lost my footing
Nothing to hold

"Endless possibilities,"
is what they exclaimed
But stuck in here
I can't be saved

One step, two
It's not working
Right or left, choose
Will this be worth it?

//

I've not been feeling entirely well just quite recently. Everything seems disoriented and unsettling. I've been trying to hold it in and calm myself down, it's working but I am reaching my limit. I can actually feel it. I can't ignore these situations anymore, but I know I have no strength to deal with them either.

Everything I've worked for, will cease to exist. Sooner or later, and the reality of that is hard to grasp. I'm grappling, trying to stay onto what seems to be a decent, non-chaotic life, a simple one but no, it just won't work out that way.

I will pull through again, right?

Yup, I'll just delude myself into thinking I am going to survive another bout of drama while a small part of me just rots away with the mild catastrophe of these events.

Labels: pitfall, poem

Whims and worries

Labels: poem, so this is the new year

I remembered the way your hair flopped
and the way you pushed it back
how I giggled because
damn you look good with that hair

Your eyelashes were thick
they lined the curves of your eyes
accentuated the shape of your eyes
that I adored looking into

That one day
we were going up the escalator
and it was sunset

The sun shone right against your back
while you were facing me
And then the thought struck me
'wow you're so handsome'
because even by your silhouette
I could see your eyes sparkle

Labels: love affairs, poem

What if the walls could speak?

They'd tell us stories of sorrow.
Of people who lived, and people who died.
Into the late night, of those who cried.
Cried till their tears ran dry.
Cried till there were no more questions why.

What if the walls could speak?

They'd tell us stories of guilt.
Of how burdens of one person, felt like the world.
And how moments of a tragedy began to unfurl.
Unfurled into bitterness of regrets.
Unfurled and then surrendered to fate.

But then again, what if the walls could speak?

They'd tell us stories of peace.
Of the silence that soothes us once in a while
A moment or two that lets us rest for a while
Rest and take a deep breather
Rest, as light as a feather

And also, what if the walls could speak?

They'd tell us stories of hope.
Of the tears, angst, fear that turned into determination
That would people want to be more than just an inspiration
The want, so deep and fierce
The want, that would always pierce

So, what if the walls could speak?

It'd be interesting and I'd be damned
But I'd also freak out
Cause all I want to do is go to sleep...
Not talk to my walls.

-
(I'm sorry hahaha I couldn't end this solemnly I had to!!!)

Got the idea for this earlier on when I got home, was in my room doing my face stuff and then I was wondering what kind of stories the walls held, of the people who lived there before me, of the events that happened before I existed into its stories. What did it witness? Probably a million and one stories apart from the ones I could think of.

Hope you like it :)

(No tagboard uh so tweet me if you liked it or sth idk or don't do anything IDK)

Labels: poem

And it's not the kind of scared where you know it's something that someone cannot help you with.

It's the kind where you know you are so afraid, so, so afraid to let anyone know what you're scared of, just in case they'll scare you on purpose.

It's the kind of fear which makes you drift away from everyone you know, everyone you had loved, everyone you love, or anyone you possibly might love because you are just that fearful.

It's the kind of impending doom that sets you apart from anyone you know, defining your infinite inability to be able to confront these dark feelings that gradually manifests your soul over time.

It's the kind where you're at a dead end, the tunnel is blocked, there's no light, and you have wasted all your energy clearing out the mud from the wrong side.

It's the kind where you're so scared, you don't dare to do anything to save yourself, lest you hurt yourself even more.

But it's lonely here.

I wish someone could see this and save me from this irrational fear, and not leave me feeling worse than before.

Labels: pitfall, poem

Song: Femme Fatale - Emilie Simon
Mood: Nonchalant

Shifting places,
need something new.
Familiar faces,
none of which are true. 

Classroom daze.
Murmurs all around.
Brain's a haze,
can't find your ground.

- written today, in commemoration of the first day of school. As you can probably tell, negativity is overpowering and overwhelming.

Insane, unfathomable rant coming up.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Some feelings in my life, even though they seem real at that moment it happened, those feelings feel like a dream afterwards. I've learned to push those feelings deep into the corners of my otherwise dusty mind just because I know it will might never happen again, those feelings will never resurface again because those moments happen only ONCE in my entire lifetime.

I push everything away, I don't know if it's because I don't want to disappoint myself when my expectations aren't met, or it's because it's just better this way. The past should stay where it belongs, the past. No spilling over the pages of today and tomorrow... I don't know. I really don't.

I think you're part of my past now. Thank you for having been part of my life for that point in time. But I guess some people can't see the fact I've slipped away from what used to be and I'm not exactly interested to go through what I felt the last few hours of that point in my life. If you get my drift. Rage, envy and utter disappointment. But who would know right?

Who would.

Labels: dailies, poem

Song: Anything But Ordinary - Avril Lavigne
Mood: HIGHLY THRILLED FOR SCHOOL





I've got a new meaning to this word, other than the usual 12-hour shifts on my com + week + sleep in till late kind of holidays. yes imma pig sue me.

Sincerely speaking, the past 3 4 5 6 weeks have been one hell of a roller-coaster ride that I really enjoyed. Even the dips, the thrilling dips, that just brings the ride back up to the highest point again. I mean, the highest points won't be high without the lowest points right? (:

I did crazy things I would never have had done last holidays (ok I don't know if it's because I turned legal or because I needed to shake things off) but I did and damn, hahah it was fun. The nights out, the new experiences, all those feelings and thoughts that felt so alive. So alive to the point I can still hardly believe that it is so different compared to the me during school (but hey everyone's like that in school too)

The break, it was definitely NOT a well-deserved break for me. It was more of I needed it. I needed to get away from people, I needed to get away from everything school related and even when the results came in, I was like 'LOL ENLIGHTEN ME HUMANS OF EARTH WHAT IS THIS STRANGE SCHOOL THINGY YOU ALL SPEAK OF' And maybe that's why I went mad.

And can I just say, the madness was absolutely worth it. No regrets. I have a ~feel good~ tingling gut feeling about this new semester. I actually can't wait for school!!!

OMG YES I CAN'T WAIT FOR SCHOOL

Happy first day of school!
-

Labels: dailies, poem

A poem I created a while back:

Wandering eyes, stay calm.
Wandering eyes, stay near.
Wandering eyes, stay closed,
Or you'll see something you fear.

[/edit] Did I say a while? I just checked my phone and it was written on 20th July hahahahahaha

Labels: poem